Perception

I have found myself referring [mentally] to my step dad as my dad. I have spent my entire life referring to him as my step dad. It's interesting to me that at the age of 26 is when I have felt compelled to drop the 'step' in it. I know him better than my own father. He's raised me and known me longer than my own father. I mean, sure, we don't share any DNA but I think in a way that makes our love and bond stronger... 

Here is a man that has no obligation to me. Here is a man that was with my mom for ten years [from when I was 5 to 15] so he no longer is even my step dad by legal definition and wasn't my guardian when my mom passed away when I was 18. However, he's very much a part of my life and my son knows him as 'Papa'. 

I've always said 'step' in front of dad so not to confuse others about whom I was referring to when I spoke of one or the other. Although, sadly I must say, I have no connection to my biological father since he passed away when I was five and divorced my mom when I was about three. The man I have called my 'step' dad is the only father I know. And he's an incredibly strong man. We've had our ups and downs but the fact that he stood by me and supports me is a big deal. 

I also felt to call this other man my dad was disrespectful not just to my father's memory but to my father's family. I'm quite close to them and I know it hurts them to know that I don't feel connected to Mark. I have actually taken to referring to him as 'bio dad'. Which could be considered insulting since I usually only hear people use that reference when talking about a father figure that was nothing more than a sperm donor. Or in the instance where they were adopted. My parents were together for ten years or so... he wasn't a sperm donor and I wasn't given up. Feels weird. 

But I gotta say, it feels good to drop the 'step' and just call this man who raised me 'dad'. 

Forgive Me....

For I have not posted since June!!! Yikes.... In July I started a full time job and went back to school in August to get my credentials in Early Childhood so my time has been pretty tied up with that on top of all the other stuff a Mommy has to do!

Some updates:
I got engaged on Sept. 8!! While celebrating our 5 year anniversary. A surprise and a gorgeous ring. Been working on some wedding plans since.... And the Saturday following Thanksgiving I even found THE dress!!! Put it on layaway and everything. We plan on getting married in the fall, just need to find a venue. Blah!

Vik is now in daycare and doing great. His speech is blowing up and he's so so so much fun. I love it!! I really look forward to our play times together. He's enjoying school and making friends.

I also have a great Christmas planned for Adam. Pretty sure it's gonna be the best one yet for him. Now I'm just hunting down some good finds for Vik. I ordered a couple of puzzles, Cars DVD, a bag of trucks, a talking Elmo, and an Elmo book. I'm thinking I'm going to wrap some of the stuff a friend gave me [that are still in like new condition] so that he can have more to open. I think I'm also going to get him a 31" Batman. He's gonna love it!

Unfortunately, I don't have much else planned for Christmas for other family members. Oh well...