babies and engagements!! Majority of my news feed on the facebook has become filled with news on newly engaged couples and those planning weddings, as well as people who have just had children and those who are pregnant in varying stages of pregnancy. It's enough to give a girl wedding and baby fever!
I know, I know... tends to be a common topic for me. But what can I say? They are the two forces in my life that both pull on my strings to do and scare the crap out of me! I've reached a point that I want another child. Like, for real. Though I'm not at a point where I'm ready to try for one. I don't feel comfortable with another child out of wedlock since it'd be with the same guy, ya know? I also had to go on pregnancy medicaid for Viktor and feel it's not right of me to plan the pregnancy of a second child that I don't have health coverage for thus causing me to utilize pregnancy medicaid again. I know that that is what it's there for, for people like me who can't afford health coverage. But if I can't find a way to afford health coverage and do have free birth control where is it right of me to take some more? I'd feel better having to do it again in a situation where we accidentally got pregnant. Which is how Adam seems to think all people should get pregnant. If that's his mindset I'll have to "accidentally" go off my birth control so we can "accidentally" get pregnant. Hm. Yeah...
Onto everyone getting engaged/hitched. I think this will happen for me. Hopefully it happens before Vik goes off to kindergarten. It's really my only stipulation to Adam.... I want to share the last name of my son by the time he goes to school. It just makes things easier for everyone. I must be Vik's mom because we share the same complicated last name! Adam hates the idea of a wedding. Then again, Adam hates having his picture taken and being center attention like that. My ideal wedding would literally only involve those closest to us that we couldn't imagine NOT having at our wedding. So parents, siblings, grandparents, and best friends are a must. Once it's all tallied I'd be surprised if we surpass 20 guests. And the rings I tend to like float in the price range of $500. I do agree with Adam that it's just hard to justify the money on a party when we have a son to raise.
My ideal wedding? Outdoors, in fall, in the mountains. With the people we love the most. Then a simple and nice dinner/lunch/foodage of some sort. I'm flexible on all parts but fall. Fall is my fav. season!
Now to get other stuff done before my wild little man wakes up from his nap!
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Sunday, October 16, 2011
This was almost a FB post....
...then I realized I don't feel like getting the comments I'm positive will follow. So here goes:
I never think about nor really want marriage... until I look at someone else's wedding/engagement photos. Then the girl in me comes out and goes "awww, I really want that!" When I then analyze the expense of a wedding paired with my frugality and lack of anyone other than the boyfriend and myself to pay for it, I'm less interested in such things.
And really, what Adam and I are currently is basically a married couple. I like that feeling. I don't think being married is dictated by paper but a mindset. For some reason though it always makes me uncomfortable to think of being bound to another person by law. Makes me all itchy and antsy and not want it.
With that said, I do want the respect that comes from being married and having a child with the person. I get that we're doing it all backwards... I also get that I shouldn't care what other's think... But you'd be lying to yourself if the idea of being able to refer to the father [or mother] of your child as your spouse doesn't make you feel better. I don't want people to pass judgement on me using the term boyfriend when referencing the man I procreated with. He's so much more to me than that word represents! I mean, it's not like anyone is noticeably judging me for not being married [or at least engaged] to the man I had a child with but referring to him as a boyfriend doesn't feel right to me. So sometimes I just refer to him as dad in whatever format works in talking about my son. I.e. "his daddy is great with him!" Seems to work out just fine.
I just want the respect of marriage without having to do it. Perhaps I'll just legally change my last name and wear a simple band or pretty ring on that finger. Let people think what they will! My grandma can get solace in thinking we're married... I can refer to him as hubby [like I sometimes slip up and do anyway] but I don't feel "stuck". So I get my sense of appreciation from others for "marrying" the father of my child without actually doing it.
Of course, I won't actually do this... And I feel silly for caring so much about what stigma people are attaching to me. But it's my thing to work on and whatever solution is best for me will happen. Thanks for reading my ramblings!
I never think about nor really want marriage... until I look at someone else's wedding/engagement photos. Then the girl in me comes out and goes "awww, I really want that!" When I then analyze the expense of a wedding paired with my frugality and lack of anyone other than the boyfriend and myself to pay for it, I'm less interested in such things.
And really, what Adam and I are currently is basically a married couple. I like that feeling. I don't think being married is dictated by paper but a mindset. For some reason though it always makes me uncomfortable to think of being bound to another person by law. Makes me all itchy and antsy and not want it.
With that said, I do want the respect that comes from being married and having a child with the person. I get that we're doing it all backwards... I also get that I shouldn't care what other's think... But you'd be lying to yourself if the idea of being able to refer to the father [or mother] of your child as your spouse doesn't make you feel better. I don't want people to pass judgement on me using the term boyfriend when referencing the man I procreated with. He's so much more to me than that word represents! I mean, it's not like anyone is noticeably judging me for not being married [or at least engaged] to the man I had a child with but referring to him as a boyfriend doesn't feel right to me. So sometimes I just refer to him as dad in whatever format works in talking about my son. I.e. "his daddy is great with him!" Seems to work out just fine.
I just want the respect of marriage without having to do it. Perhaps I'll just legally change my last name and wear a simple band or pretty ring on that finger. Let people think what they will! My grandma can get solace in thinking we're married... I can refer to him as hubby [like I sometimes slip up and do anyway] but I don't feel "stuck". So I get my sense of appreciation from others for "marrying" the father of my child without actually doing it.
Of course, I won't actually do this... And I feel silly for caring so much about what stigma people are attaching to me. But it's my thing to work on and whatever solution is best for me will happen. Thanks for reading my ramblings!
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